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Luck, loss, new beginnings...

People always come to my booth at shows and ask me for something that will bring them luck. I reply that there is nothing in our culture that is intended to bring you luck. I was always taught that you create your own luck through the choices you make. That if there is someone claiming to be "Native" who sells you an item and claims it will bring you luck, well, buyer beware. Years ago I was quite the pessimist. I would often talk about the "Universal Conspiracy" that was constructed to come after me. I was sure about the fact that something out there was trying to bring me down. That I had been born under a bad moon or something. But we know bad things happen, they happen to all of us. Rich or poor no one is immune. Loss comes to us all in all forms. We loose people, things, jobs, places we live. The phrase " if I didn't have bad luck I would have no luck at all" would roll off my lips at least once a day. I didn't know that if there was power to the negativity I was feeding it well with my attitude.

I have said before that last year was the most challenging year of my life. But let's get was the worst year! I hated it. Everything went wrong from the get go. We had someone betray trust, which could have resulted in the loss of our home, we had a terrible car accident that left me hurt and struggling physically. That in turn left us struggling financially and it just kept going. Challenging? Yes that is a nice way to put it, but really, it sucked! I was so glad when the year ended, we could turn a page and start again. There was so much confusion about it too. We have all heard of the law of attraction. Change your frequency or your thoughts to change your life. I had done a lot of work towards that, a ton of work. I was meditating, doing some yoga. I love working in my yard and have I things growing everywhere. I had pretty much eradicated the negative thought process that I had grown up with. I had worked so hard. (It was not easy either, the negative thoughts were deeply engrained in my brain.) Helping people was real big with my new way of thinking and I always reached out making time if someone else was in need or in pain. It seemed as though I had been put on a wonderful path and was moving forward. There was a huge commitment to living in the now and a conscious choice to be happy. The commitment was deep. But, bad things can still happen. They just do.

I have had the experience of knowing that it can be resistance from the universe that makes us know we are on the right path. There will always be negative forces out there that try to distract or derail us from our path. Knowing our true purpose helps us be solid in our decisions and stick to our path. I know that I am meant to paint, that will never change. I have the privilege of using my gift and connecting with people through my work, sometimes blessed enough to ease their pain. It opens doors to conversations giving us the choice of whether not to walk through. But even that connection can lead to distractions. I have a terrible habit of creating projects out of people. I have learned that putting my time into a person and allowing that to take me away from painting, framing or completing anything business related can be just as detrimental and self defeating as the behaviors I worked so hard to put and end to. We have to be aware of our patterns.

So I have recommitted to myself. In this commitment I will keep moving forward and not allow myself to repeat patterns. Deciding to push myself, and take Brene' Brown's words to heart can be scarry but I choose to DARE GREATLY! This year I applied to the Lumbee Spring Powwow in NC and I got in. So just for curiosity's sake ( and a giggle) I went ahead and applied to the Indian Market at the Eiteljorg museum in Indiana. This is supposed to be very exclusive. I was shocked when I learned that I was accepted. Maybe the universe made a choice too, a new commitment to me.

Marilyn Furguson said "On the other side of fear is freedom."

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